I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Youre the first, the last, my everthing.

Listening to :
You Give Me Something by James Morrison







I want you to know how difficult it was to get you something, how even more difficult it was to find the utmost perfect words to say and write it to you. I mean, what do you give someone who means the world to you? How can you find a material object that can convey your love when you can’t even find the words?

My love is all that I can give.

I thought I could recycle what I wrote that’s held close to me, my diary, but it wouldn’t be the same. I thought thoroughly for the right words to say to you, a love letter I thought I’d write, but I couldn’t. My god, i suck with words. I tried finding for the most prefect poems, but all that ive found wasn’t good enough.

However, I came up with something. Its not great, but its me. It came to mind that ive gotta make you something that’s right from my heart. I made you a card. I made you a card filled with lyrics of love songs which reminds me of you. I didn’t wanna put all the love songs there is, hence, for future usage eyy? Haha. So, yeah. There I was (in the college library), cutting out paper, pasting it onto the card using eky wet glue (when i could've used double-sided tape), making you something I hardly ever do. I tried my best anyhow to make something sweet, something meaningful for you.

In the card, there are love songs, and famous love quotes, and a poem which I wrote not long ago. Thus, there are also butterflies, flowers and heart-shaped papers. (omg, what happened to me..) All these wrapped, finally, with a ribbon. It’s not much, but I hope you love it. And of course, besides the t-shirt (yesh, i had my perfume on it, hehe) - there's a lil surprise in there too (;

Looking back, I can’t believe so much time has passed, from that first moment we met. And as I look back upon each moment, there is nothing that I regret.

You are so much better than any dream. A mere thought of you protects me, wrapping me in warmth. There’s just something about you, maybe it’s just the way you look at me. And every time i look at you, my heart flutters. You make me laugh, you make me smile. And it’s true, I love smiling when it’s with you (no matter how much my jaw would hurt :P) Most of all, you make me happy.

You make me feel something. Something warm, and safe; something comfortable, and secure – in being loved and in love with you. You make me feel indescribably beautiful. Love, my moments spent with you are truly amazing.

At last, Ill wrap this up by telling you – I will love you as long as I live. With all of my heart, my soul, my everything; always.



I love you, Don Henning.
Happy Birthday




© Abbie Lyann Joseph Leong




p.s., sorry i woke you up x)
xoxo

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

They're so pretty, i must have them!

Listening to :
Everything You Want by Vertical Horizon




can someone pls buy these for me! *shows puppy face*
i would buy em' myself, trust me, i would. but im currently out of cash. grrr.







pretty right?




i want this so terribly! it'll match my tinker bell earrings.
look, it has stars too! *wtf?*



just click on this link here, Twinkle Collection to purchase.




oh please, pretty please.




countdown : 12 more days!
xoxo

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Youre my one distance star, shinning bright for me.

Listening to :
Victim by Eighteen Visions




20th January 2010







Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me

Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me

Yeah, you picked me





I Love You, Don Henning.




xoxo

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Things are gonna be different this year, ill make it be.

Listening to :
Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum




guess what i have! hehee.






thanks for the pressies :)





countdown : 19 more days!
xoxo

I'll break your heart

Listening to :
Heart-Shaped Glasses (When the Heart Guides the Hand) by Marilyn Manson








Thoughts being filled and I can't stand it
You're in my head, and I need you out.
I can't go on like this forever.
It makes me want to scream and shout.





im hating the way i feel bout you,
im hating that you turned out to be someone you said youre not.
hunney, im gonna smile and laugh with you
and youre gonna love me.


and once i have you under control,
ill break your heart.
just so youll know how it feels like.


revenge is sweet.




xoxo

Friday, January 15, 2010

You're a part of me that i dont wanna see..

Listening to :
Forget It by Breaking Benjamin








it's all coming back again; he's back.




xoxo

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Exam results, semester 1.

Listening to :
Every You, Every Me by Placebo





so yeah, exam results for the 1st semester intake 07/08 came out today. and i managed to get..




Communication English, B+
Advertising Principles, C+
Computer Graphics, C+
Creative Thinking, B
Mass Communication, C+
Presentation Skills, C+




i could have done better.
i thought i would be getting an A for Communication English and at least a B for Computer Graphics, but oh wells.
ill do better the next time :)





xoxo

Sunday, January 10, 2010

If it wasnt for you, i'd never be who i am.

Listening to :
Salt In Our Wounds by HIM







why is he there and not here?
why am i here and not there?
why now and not then? why now and not later?




xoxo

Friday, January 8, 2010

Birthday presents i'd like to have

Listening to :
Where The Lines Overlap by Paramore




[edited:20/1/10]



im gonna be 8teen in a months' time (boo..), and there's nothing i can do to stay 7teen forever.
so wtv, here are the 18 things i'd like to receive from anyone of you :P





birthday cake :)





im itching over biker jackets! it's so me! hahaha





more hoodies, pls :)





mini dress





i need a handbag! the one im currently using, broke D:





ill go all soft over daisies (;





sunglasses





Olympus PEN E-P1 :D :D :D





Flowerbomb by Viktor and Rolf. i would die for this!





dont ask, but i wanna have this (;





I need a new one D: my wallet broke too.





soft toys





PURPLE helium balloons (;





lollipops, candies, or chocolate.





Baskin Robbins' or Häagen-Dazs' ice cream!





Accessories.
be it whichever - earrings, necklace, bracelet, or funky cool belly ring like the scorpion below :P







cupcakes! yumms :)





birthday card, with a personal note (;





pick one :)




xoxo

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A new start!

Listening to :
Help, I'm Alive by Metric





today, im gonna clean my room :)



*gasps*



i know, unbelievable right?!
well, keep this a secret will ya? (;





UPDATE: i didnt manage to clean my room.
p.s., i need a break from everything
xoxo

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What i would love to have this year

Listening to :
First Time by Lifehouse






Flowerbomb, by Viktor and Rolf

ive been searching high up, down below, left to right, and it seems impossible to find this baby. unless, youre talking ebay, meh.
this would definitely be the perfect birthday present! (;






Apple In-Ear Headphones

argh, spare me all the difficult times buying, and buying other stupid headphones.





Olympus E-P1/2

ive been interested in this olympus pen since last year. although it seems impossible for me to buy one, but theres no harm in wishing and hoping that one day it'll be mine :)




p.s., i need a break from everything, 111 more days.
xoxo

Monday, January 4, 2010

I will love you Monday

by Aura Dione








Dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum ah
dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum ah
Dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum ah
dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum

I will love you monday
and you will hurt me tuesday
I will kill you thursday
if you don't stop me wednesday
forgive you on a friday
reunion on a saturday
forgotten all on sunday

365 days of a year
running around, running around
and going nowhere
365 days and nights
365 tries to make it right

Dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum ah
dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum ah
Dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum ah
dum dee dudedum da
dum dum de de dudedum

I will love you monday
and you will hurt me tuesday
I will kill you thursday
if you don't stop me wednesday
forgive you on a friday
reunion on a saturday
so I can love you monday

I will love you monday
and you will hurt me tuesday
I will kill you thursday
if you don't stop me wednesday
forgive you on a friday
reunion on a saturday
forgotten all on sunday

365 days of a year
running around, running around
and going nowhere
365 days and nights
365 tries to make it right

365 days of a year
running around, running around
and going nowhere
365 days and nights
365 tries to make it right
tries to make it right

I will love you monday
and you will hurt me tuesday
I will love you monday
and I will kill you thursday
forgive you on a friday
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
friday

365 days of a year
running around, running around
and going nowhere
365 days and nights
365 tries to make it right

365 days of a year
running around, running around
and going nowhere
365 days and nights
365 tries to make it right

Dum dee dudedum da





xoxo

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010's resolutions

Listening to :
Broken Wings by Flyleaf







oh boy, time indeed passes by fast, its now the year 2010!


so, i was once again asked to write a resolution. and this time, im gonna make sure my list of resolutions wont be left out, or failed to do so - just like last year's.



i cant possibly say ill spend less on money, cause i know i spend more each year >< or even stay out of trouble.
cause, once again, trouble finds me. so, wtv, im gonna list down 3 things for this year.



* get a job
* improve my studies
* 365 hugs



haha, okay, so i do have one unwritten resolution i'd like to keep, but it's secret
(;




xoxo

Goodbye 2009. Hello 2010! (;

Listening to :
Picture of the Moon by Aura Dione








All that i wished for was a starry white blanket to embrace me in the morning.
All that i wanted was for someone to tuck me in with a shivering kiss that gave frostbite to my cheek.
My desire was to fall into a sleep that brought me to morning, in which i was suddenly, to my surprise, covered with a quilt of frozen tears.
Tears of joy, tears of sorrow; all tears that completed memories.
I could only hope that tomorrow would bring a shower of snowflakes to awaken me from the old, and present me with the new.
I only hope that for New Years, i will be sprinkled with the lasting feeling that a white winter brings to me; the feeling of being simply myself.




I wish everyone the best, and is having an amazing time for the start of year 2010 :)




xoxo

Make a wish, my new year's resolution.

Listening to :
All Hail The Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas





It's New year's eve, the last day of a painful year.
The last day of these 12 months that brought me no cheer.
The last 52 weeks that makes up my fear.
The last 365 days makes me wanna disappear.


1 year of pain, 52 weeks of blame.
365 days of a scary mind game.


So close to giving up, i cant believe i made it this far;
hurting with my every cut and every scar.


Watching the world fall down around me,
and a cage around me not letting me free.
My every hope gets washed into the sea,
and everything crashes my every dream.


The last night of this year,
ill count down the minutes with my beer;
as death keeps his whisper in my ear.


FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE.
My whole year is done.


Make a wish, my new year's resolution.
So it can be my new solution.


Ill do this one thing,
that i can fly with my broken wing.


That i wont be alone, that i wont unknown.


But, one thing i cant not do,
is cut my skin for you.


This is my New Year's Resolution, the one thing ill keep - that ill try so hard to not end my life with a gash to deep.




xoxo