I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

my greatest archievement and goal

surviving each day by staying alive..


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

peace - speech made by KJ

A very good afternoon to the honorable judges, teachers and fellow students. Today, i, Khoo Jun from senior 5 Charity would like to present to you a speech. Entitled, Peace.

Peace. This word has been, tainted with things such as, Violence, Pain, Anger, Sacrifice and Misery. People have fought in the name of peace. Countries have warred for peace. People. Innocent people, have died in this ruthless bloody crusade for peace. I am sure that you all know the outcome of such actions. And the outcome would only be, more violence, more anger, more pain and No peace. Imagine what would happen to the world in ten twenty years. Someone with power would realize that in this crusade, guns and tanks would not be enough. Countries would start pulling out the big guns. The nuclear bombs. Countries would be ripped apart. Cities set ablaze and families, crushed, killed, all in the name for Peace. What sense does that make!? Peace was never made to cause war and hurt and pain. To have peace is to be free from aggression, war, violence. To have peace is to be calm, patient, loving and be passive.

The thing is, if we kill for peace, if we force another country into submission and tell them to be peaceful, we would only create more anger, more hatred and more violence. A quote by Mohandas Gandhi, "What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?". Mohandas Ghandi also, fights for justice, but his methods are non-violent and works. He understood that aggression will not bring peace.

Most of the leaders of the world do not yet realize that no matter what action they take, as long as violence, weapons or anger is involved, Peace would never be attained. Peace. how ever mushy it may sound, is created from love. from caring for each other, for our family members, our teachers, our friends and even, strangers. Most if not all religion teaches us to love the ones around us and not to kill. As human being we love to have peace. We strive for it. And in this moment, where war is everywhere, fights erupt at any moment, rape, robberies, murder, we desperately, need peace. We need peace in the society, we need peace in this country. We need peace in the world.

We as fellow human beings are not that different from each other. We may be different on the outside but if you look at from another point of view, we are very much alike. And as we would like others to treat us well. We should treat others well too. And as we hate it when others discriminate, or hate us, Others hate it when we discriminate them or hate them. Its like a mirror. If we would like to be loved, we must love. We all must learn to be able to love freely and not to hate. We must learn to be calm in all situations. We must learn to think from a different point of view. With that, we would certainly attain peace. We would reach the day where nobody has to die from war, fights, and starvation.

Ladies and gentleman, If everyone cared,If everyone cared then nobody cries. If everyone loved and nobody lied, If everyone shared and swallowed their pride then we'd see the day when nobody died. That is a part of a song, IF everyone cared, By Nickelback. Its it very true. Can you imagine a day, where you are able to walk out into the streets without fear of robbery, or anything of that sort. if you are able to walk to the park and see families loving each other, having fun, being happy, being together. Where you'll see, people of all races all nationalities together. Have a friendly game of soccer perhaps. Where you'll see strangers smiling at and hugging each other. A day where the nations come together and solve the real problems of the world. What all the countries understand each other, where war is a long forgotten word. A day where the world, lives as one, Breathes as one and loves as one. Where the world, and everyone in it is at peace. Those are the golden days that we are all striving for. And if we all work together. to love each other. To care for one another. We would definitely be able to find peace for the earth and live, happily ever after. Thank you.

P.S., KJ- although im not into peacemaking terms. i did, however, enjoy reading your speech. and and, ive corrected your spelling mistakes =p

so, whoever is reading this. what do you think?


Monday, May 25, 2009

amex and asia :)

listening to :
4 Years by Jon McLaughlin

its been awhile since i last saw my niece and nephew. so i promised to bring them to the park.

here are the pictures.. so, enjoy!

amex and his peace sign xD

weeeee ~

asia darling :)

P.S., my dearest cousin - Ada, pls steal these pictures asap =p


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

just take it as a challenge in order to overcome in becoming greater friends

Dear You,
youre probably thinking that i dont trust you anymore, well, maybe its true. i need you to know that its not you, its me. i need time to think straight, but right now i cant. im sorry i judged you right away, i wasnt thinking straight - that was my last straw, after all. now, im afraid to talk to you, or even tell you whats really going on. i think im losing it. i hate trusting ppl because at some point, i know it'll lead to this very end. if you know me well, you wouldnt be worried. but right now, i wished you'd leave me alone. until then, remember this; no matter what, even through the misjudgments, the disagreements, mistakes, and the tears i've cried; im taking this as a challenge. lets see how true our friendship really is. show me that i can really count on you. were we really great frens? you tell me. was i part of you life? well, you were part of mine, and you still are. i trusted you then, but should i trust you now? you made a mistake and i was humiliated to my very grounds.


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i love you now and every minute in between..

listening to :
Finding Myself by Smile Empty Soul

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without.

If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart.

Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived

- Bill Parrish, Meet Joe Black


ipod nano bitches!

listening to :
Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) by Eurythmics

thats right! ive got a new ipod nano :D

it was a graduation present :) thanks mom!

and im currently using an iPhone :) for now..

heh, now i can strike out two of these items from my craving list xD
*happy! happy!*


Monday, May 18, 2009

a piece of advise

i had business studies exam today, and after i was done with the paper.. i met this business professor outside the examination hall. out of nowhere, he gave me a piece of advise..

' in order to succeed in business, you would have to bullshit your way through. '


mother's day

listening to :
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

9th & 10th May 2009

Somewhere near Glenmarie Court.

Fu-Rin, Japanese restaurant.

*click above pictures for larger view*

caught in action xD Addie started dancing out of nowhere.

issit it pretty?

*click on each picture above for larger view*

the next day

the food was delicious.


Friday, May 15, 2009

more than wanted

I have wandered far and wide

For something real something to die for
But I have found you and you do not see
All that is me, all that is true and

I am more than you will see
I am more than you will need
I am more than you will see
More than wanted

And as you float the flimsy surface
You should know life lies beneath it
And don't pretend you feel what I feel
For you live illusion and I'm real

I am more than you will see
I am more than you will need
I am more than you will see
More than wanted

I am more than you will see
I am more than you will need
I am more than you will see
More than wanted

I know, I know you like the way
You feel when I play
I know, I know you don't really
Hear what I say
I know, I know you are waiting
For something to raid
I know, I know you wish you could be
More than you say

I have wandered far and wide
For something real something to die for
But I have found you and you do not see
All that is me, all that is true and

I am more than you will see
I am more than you will need
I am more than you will see
More than wanted

I am more than you will see
I am more than you will need
I am more than you will see
More than wanted

More than you'll love, more than you'll hate
More than you'll hold, more than wanted
More than you'll need, more than you'll dream
More than you'll feel, more than wanted
More than you'll crave, more than you'll cherish
More than you'll have, more than wanted


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

a new beginning..

" if im going to be alive, then i might as well be incredible. i want to do more than just exist. "


Monday, May 11, 2009

woots! im really happy today! :D

listening to :
Into The Night by Santana feat. Chad Kroeger

when i received a letter from skewl...
i said to myself: "opening this envelope determines whether i live or die".
so on and so forth.
well, you know how dramatic i can be xD

yesh, thats my result from the skewl's examination :)

i know its not the best outcome, but its better than my expectation.
considering the fact that im a very dumb girl, who never studied for any examination, before mid last year. and knowing that im working hard for this, its worth it.
i know ill do so much better for the Cambridge O Levels examination in British Council :)

exam continues on the 13th this week!
wish me luck!

and at the same time, im on my way to applying for college =P
IACT, here i come! :D


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mothers Day!

listening to :
Suddenly Everything Has Changed by Bethany Joy Lenz

no matter how shitty our relationship are right now,
no matter where i stand between those thin lines,
ill always be there for you..
sorry for all the times i caused you such pain.
love you, Mom.


Saturday, May 9, 2009

i think of you in colors that dont exist

listening to :
Favorite Things by Incubus

It took me by complete surprise
when my heart got lost inside your eyes.
You weren't at all what i was looking for;
you were everything and so much more.


Friday, May 8, 2009

Pyramid with the boys :)

listening to :
Put Your Arms Around Me by Natasha Bedingfield

today was fun! i really enjoyed myself :)

firstly, went to Sunway Pyramid and met up with my dearest Kee Wei.
since we've got nothing to do, he brought me up to the roof top.
and the sun was burning hot, which explains why Kee Wei closed his eyes.

here's something interesting to let you all know.
obviously i got bored, so i decided that we play a fool in the lift.
basically i pressed all the floors, all the way up till below.

and there was this bunch of ppl who came in the next stop.

girl talking to her frens : *annoyed* i wonder who did this?!!
me : *points at Kee Wei*

nyahahahahaha xD

after that, met up with the gang, Ujin, Marc, Russell & Max.
we skated for few hours till we decided to take a break.

Ujin & Max

Marc & Joel

Maaarrcc! it was supposed to be a candid shot!


Russell & Marc

Russell, Marc & Max

Jin! i seriously love this boy to bits! ♥

also, Jin's fren - Debbie, was there too.

so after we're done ice skating.. the four boys and i had dinner somewhere in USJ. before we head over to a cybercafe and played Left 4 Dead.

Russell taught me how to play. it was my first time, and it was fun :)


JIN!!! ♥

P.S., Marc & Russell, thanks for the ride home.