All those who said that they'll be there for me, left.

2000
she was only a kid who had friends, who are obviously much more older than her. before she knew it, she made the wrong friends and began taking things seriously because she was emotionally threatened and abused. until one day, she realized she was tricked; she saw no way out, or so she thought. she went suicidal, she was found taking ecstasy. the whole school's name went down, hence, there was police involved. at such age, she was the main victim. the school had no choice but to expel her. everyone looked down on her. besides that, she tore her family apart, she thought. her parents began arguing everyday, every moment until she blamed herself. it was also the same year she hated her own father for several reasons. not long after, her parents divorced, she joyed. no one understood her, no one knew why.



2001 - 2003
in the middle of the year, she finally found a new school that would accept her. she maintained a quiet, laid-back life. she kept herself out of trouble. however, she was still disturbed by her parents. although divorced; there was still argument, there was still screaming, there was still doors slamming, and there was still glasses breaking. the next year, she went for her first surgery. and after she has recovered, things went back to normal - the fight, the screaming, the doors slamming, and the glasses breaking. this went on for a year. as 2003 starts off, she was transferred to a new school. she still maintained a quiet life, however, a more dramatic twist was being added in.



2004 - 2005
she's not sure why, but she has always liked this year. she had friends, she had money. but she was a bitch, and most of her friends werent real. they never stood by her when she broke down. however, there was a few who stayed, and she loved them. soon, she met someone who changed her. not for the best, she'd say. he taught her things she never knew existed, he gave her things she knew was wrong. soon enough, she wasnt herself. she remembered being suspended, she remembered breaking things. she remembered being awake, and never asleep.

she was crushed. still, she wasnt herself, because she became someone else. someone she never thought she would be, someone she feared. she kept getting herself into shit. she shut her friends away. however, being a mean bitch wasnt all, she loved getting into trouble. she felt the thrill, and enjoyed it. not even her closest friend back then could do anything to help her. she thought she was completely alone when everything was over. when the time came, she met someone, he was a childhood friend, and she loved him. through him, she met someone who soon became her bestfriend. he had problems of his own, but he has always put her first. even so, she remembered putting her boyfriend before her friends, she remembered nothing more but him. until they ended what they had.



2006 - 2007
she was losing her mind, she began cutting and hurting herself. she began blaming herself for everything that went wrong. she neglected her friends, and soon, was being neglected by. most of the time, she was found crying, and was also found being alone. she attended school, but not classes. she skipped classes, she went to shopping malls instead. during these times, she met a few more people who she thought would stay - they did, but not for long. she was played.

before 2006 ended - she was once again, transferred to a new school. this time she was homeschooled. she tried keeping things in low profile. but her secrets was soon revealed, her schoolmates then knew who she really was. surprisingly, she was not ashamed.

soon, that very day striked, she lost her bestfriend whom she dearly love. 'the day he died, i lost my soul', as she would have said. everything around her crumpled, she has never felt so much in life. she was once again, suicidal. she began smoking, and her insomnia has became worse. soon, she was in depression, and not to mention, she was taking drugs. every night she cried, every night she wished upon a star, to bring him back into her life. everynight, she tried to die. a month after, she met someone who changed her life.



2008 - mid 2009
something big, something dramatic happened in school. she was caught with drug possession, along with drug trafficking. at the same time, she made more friends, who were once again - the wrong ones. for once, she felt so much alive - it was obvious em' drugs. this went on until she realized she was in love with one of her friend, the very same guy who changed her life. he helped her through the break down, and he always had the right words to say. he was the reason why she decided to stop drugs. even so, she kept strong even when she lost another one of her friends. it was also this time, when she found her true friends. at first, she couldnt hold on to most of them, but a few came back. they were real because they stayed.

on 1st september 08', marks the day she became sober. she thought, she would impress the guy she love with all her achievements. she made promises she never thought would succeed. she never lost hope, because of him, she kept holding on. end of 2008, she was sent into jail for being mistaken for something she never did. however so, she experienced something she thought was only a dream.

this year, for the first time, she has worked hard for her studies. her hard work paid off, and she finally graduated and got accepted into college. she was happy, but it wasnt for long till the guy she's in love with became a real jackass. still, she's willing to wait. she realized, of all she had gone through, its what made her who she is today. she knows she will move on.


she's been fooled too many times, and its time for her to stop that.




she is me..

xoxo